Family Counseling Juneau AK

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Aware
(907) 586-6623
1547 Old Glacier Hwy
Juneau, AK
 
Hayes Virginia
(907) 586-2354
301 3rd St
Juneau, AK
 
Catholic Community Service
(907) 463-6100
419 6th St
Juneau, AK
 
Kevin Wickenburg, Ncmt
(907) 209-4544
114 S Franklin St Ste 103
Juneau, AK
 
Integral Practice Llc
(907) 790-4357
3100 Channel Dr Ste 24
Juneau, AK
 
Community Christian Counseling Center
(907) 789-9055
11024 Auke Lake Way
Juneau, AK
 
Hood Dixie Ma Counselor
(907) 586-2200
222 Seward St Ste 210
Juneau, AK
 
Clement Gary Lpc
(907) 790-9611
9000 Glacier Hwy Ste 204
Juneau, AK
 
Hurley Teresa Lcsw
(907) 790-1000
9000 Glacier Hwy Ste 304
Juneau, AK
 
Wells Karen Ma/Lpc Counselor
(907) 586-8912
9851 Nine Mile Creek Rd J
Juneau, AK
 

Is the Role You Play in Your Family Hurting Your Life?

Every living system seeks balance. In nature, this process is called homeostasis. Within a family system, homeostasis explains why members adopt certain roles. In healthy families, members take on different roles at various times to meet the family’s needs. But in dysfunctional families, the roles are more rigid. For example, if one parent is addicted to alcohol, the other may be busy providing for the family and seldom home. One child may take on the role of Caretaker, preparing meals for younger siblings while another becomes the Hero—the one who strives to do everything perfectly.

But the family dynamics that shape family roles aren’t limited to severe dysfunctions like substance abuse. One of my coaching clients grew up in a loving, close-knit family in which he was the Hero. Because his parents wanted him to have opportunities they never had, he was expected to get straight A’s, a good education, and a successful career. And while this role enabled him to become an accomplished and wealthy lawyer, his life was falling apart. High blood pressure was causing health problems, workaholism threatened his marriage, and the responsibilities of providing for his elderly parents, an expensive home, and three children in private schools overwhelmed him.

Another example is Casey, who dreamed of becoming a professional photographer. Casey was in a financial-services job she hated, but in which she felt trapped. Growing up, both of her parents struggled to hold down jobs. Casey started babysitting at the age of 12, and had been helping her parents financially ever since. She lived with her boyfriend, who was supporting his ex-wife and son. He was unsupportive of her making a career change, because they needed her income to pay the bills. By continuing to make others’ needs more important than her own, she had unconsciously recreated her family role of Caretaker in her adult relationship.

While our family role may have made sense growing up, it often wreaks havoc in our adult lives. As our primary role takes hold, parts of us become suppressed—parts we need to live a healthy and fulfilling adult life. These can include the part that feels like a worthwhile, deserving person; the part that feels intelligent and competent; the spontaneous, playful part, or the part that can feel and express joy.

If the role you play is sabotaging your life, change the behaviors that reinforce it. If you play the People-pleaser who always says what others expect for app...

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