Family Counseling Hickory NC

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Glenna Davis
(828) 325-4783
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Addictions and Dependency, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
Master Addictions Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Dianne Sanford
(828) 328-4313
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, School, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Jonathan Golden
(828) 322-6058
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Amy Wood
(828) 328-7728
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Counselor Education, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Melissa Leonhardt
(828) 466-6254
Conover, NC
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Couples & Family, School, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Shirley Huffman
(828) 322-4941
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Supervision
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Nicole Mosteller
(828) 323-8482
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Brian Hissom
(828) 485-2195
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Rehabilitation, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Michelle Hanrahan Ellwanger
(704) 462-4200
Hickory, NC
Practice Areas
Couples & Family
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Mary Ruff
(828) 381-5920
Newton, NC
Practice Areas
Career Development, Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Counselor Education, Couples & Family
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Is the Role You Play in Your Family Hurting Your Life?

Every living system seeks balance. In nature, this process is called homeostasis. Within a family system, homeostasis explains why members adopt certain roles. In healthy families, members take on different roles at various times to meet the family’s needs. But in dysfunctional families, the roles are more rigid. For example, if one parent is addicted to alcohol, the other may be busy providing for the family and seldom home. One child may take on the role of Caretaker, preparing meals for younger siblings while another becomes the Hero—the one who strives to do everything perfectly.

But the family dynamics that shape family roles aren’t limited to severe dysfunctions like substance abuse. One of my coaching clients grew up in a loving, close-knit family in which he was the Hero. Because his parents wanted him to have opportunities they never had, he was expected to get straight A’s, a good education, and a successful career. And while this role enabled him to become an accomplished and wealthy lawyer, his life was falling apart. High blood pressure was causing health problems, workaholism threatened his marriage, and the responsibilities of providing for his elderly parents, an expensive home, and three children in private schools overwhelmed him.

Another example is Casey, who dreamed of becoming a professional photographer. Casey was in a financial-services job she hated, but in which she felt trapped. Growing up, both of her parents struggled to hold down jobs. Casey started babysitting at the age of 12, and had been helping her parents financially ever since. She lived with her boyfriend, who was supporting his ex-wife and son. He was unsupportive of her making a career change, because they needed her income to pay the bills. By continuing to make others’ needs more important than her own, she had unconsciously recreated her family role of Caretaker in her adult relationship.

While our family role may have made sense growing up, it often wreaks havoc in our adult lives. As our primary role takes hold, parts of us become suppressed—parts we need to live a healthy and fulfilling adult life. These can include the part that feels like a worthwhile, deserving person; the part that feels intelligent and competent; the spontaneous, playful part, or the part that can feel and express joy.

If the role you play is sabotaging your life, change the behaviors that reinforce it. If you play the People-pleaser who always says what others expect for app...

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